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We could have something that'll never happen.
On Monday, Aug. 21, 2006 at 5:04 p.m.

Life is so full of disappointment. I can't remember a time when I didn't feel the drawn out disappointment that sticks to me every day. But I know it's new & I never remember periods of my life, just specific seemingly unimportant people and incidents.

And for some reason I'm incredibly disappointed by my lack of a love interest. & the reality that it'll probably be many months before I find one. At the beggining of the summer I had the goal of one kiss. I technically have exactly a month left but I'm completely void of optomism.

& I know there are quite a few guys I barely know that I'd fall for if I let myself. But I can't. Because it would be foolish & futile. & it's not fair. I'm almost seventeen. I don't know what that changes but I know it matters.

Life is so unfair. No one gets what they deserve but some people get way less. Everything is fragile. & everything is connected. So I guess when something breaks, something else breaks. Right now my hope is undergoing a slow, painful death & I don't know what'll break after it.



hold me close like we both died
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