But that's not what I'm getting at. I need to ramble before I can tear my heart out sometimes.

My best friend thinks I'll never be satisfied. That I'm one of those people who love their angst because it gives them something to write about. I protested but I know she's right. I didn't need her to tell me. I know I fit messily into that sterotype of an artist who loves her turmoil because it inspires her. I know I'll always be disatisfied. I'll always want something more. And I love it about myself.

There are a lot of fascets of my personality that I'm not sure about. It's comforting to know you'll always have something.

I want to hold on to hope. I always let is slip. I can't stand having strong feelings about something if I know it will let me down. I wish apathy were more satisfying & more inspirational.



hold me close like we both died
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