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That I would be good. Even if I gained ten pounds. That I would be loved even when I numb myself. That I would be good even when I'm overwhelmed.
On Thursday, Sept. 29, 2005 at 2:32 p.m.

Time flies. Too fast.

When I was a little girl my mom's friends told me time went by fast. There they were, 40, already. It's like just yesterday they were in the back seat of their boyfriends car making mistakes they can't afford to make anymore.

I didn't believe them. I wanted to grow up. To be tall, to have a boyfriend, a fun job, money.

I know better now. Life speeds by. Summer sped by. The first three weeks of school have sped by. The sooner this minute ends, the soon tommorow comes, the sooner we all die.

So is it really that bad I take all this time to analyze everything. I'm letting go and grabbing on (to the moment) slowly. There are so many warning, so many things that will never happen again.

I want what's precious. Everything.



hold me close like we both died
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